Gambling usually leaves us bettors with a feeling of extreme elation and positivity when we win. But, when we lose, it seems that we may never win again and that is a hollow and negative feeling and it triggers thoughts
But always remember, it is always you who controls where you wager, what you bet on, for how much and when. You decide to leave or gamble in another casino or on another betting site.
Gambling Jokes Can Ease Some Pain and Give Perspective
Making a decision not to gamble is also a decision in itself. There is also absolutely nothing wrong sometimes with making no bets, losing or winning $0 and just doing something else with your precious Time and Money.
The reality is that casinos and the best Gambling sites aren’t built from people winning their Money. With that said, it’s always nice to be able to laugh as laughter truly is the best medicine these strange days whether it’s in gambling or the rest of life.
Comedian Kevin Hart said: “Laughter heals all wounds, and that’s one thing that everybody shares. No matter what you’re going through, it makes you forget about your problems. I think the world should keep laughing.”
And laughing about funny jokes about gambling and other things throughout our days that make us giggle has its benefits both Mentally and Physically as the Mayo Clinic knows all too well.
- Laughter relieves Stress response. When we laugh, it increases our intake of Oxygen-rich air which stimulates our Muscles, Lungs, and Heart and will increase and then decrease our Heart Rates, then lowering Blood pressure.
- Laughing stimulates your circulation. Blood flow is increased when we laugh and the response from the human body is a more relaxed Body and Mind.
- Our Organs are stimulated when we laugh. Our Brains release more Endorphins when we laugh and in turn, these feel-good chemicals called Endorphins create a sense of well-being as well as increased energy as those who exercise all know.
Here are a number of Gambling jokes to hopefully make you laugh a little and reduce some of your stress. Always remember that it is you and not the Casino or Sportsbook who controls every single facet of where, what, how much and how often you make bets.
Some Funny Card Games Gambling Jokes and Quotes
One of the funniest comedians ever was the late George Carlin, an American who always had a wonderful and comedic way of looking at the simple things we do on a daily basis.
“Avoid people with gold teeth who want to play cards.” —George Carlin
Like Carlin, American stand-up comedian Mitch Hedman is in that Great Joke Factory In The Sky laughing with Carlin, Rodney Dangefield, Robin Williams, Don Rickles, Richard Pryor, and Sam Kinison, but he left us with much humor and gambling jokes
“I like to play Blackjack. I’m not addicted to gambling. I’m addicted to sitting in a semicircle.” —Mitch Hedberg
Horse Racing Gives Some of the Best Jokes About Gambling
Maybe no other gambling endeavor has provided us with as many seriously funny jokes about gambling as Horse Racing. And little men in pink silks with funny hats and a whip sitting on top and riding a horse around a track in a race is funny in itself.
Here is a Horse Racing gem from Dangerfield:
“I tell ya, gambling never agreed with me. Last week I went to the track and they shot my horse with the opening gun.” —Rodney Dangerfield
And here is another Horse gem from another great British-born (London) and American comedian who is no longer with us, Henny Youngman who passed away at the age of 91.
“The horse I bet on was so slow, the jockey kept a Diary of the trip.”
Former UK Jockey and Geneticist David Howard has an entire page of great Horse Racing jokes that can be found at his website and here’s one of the best that made me laugh:
“A man wakes up in the morning and it is 5:55 am The temperature is 55° and the humidity is 55%. He turns on his TV to channel 5. He gets up and it is May 5. He heads to work and his car has 55,555.5 miles on the Odometer.
He gets to work and goes to the 5th floor. He has 5 messages. It dawns on him. He rushes to the race track. His ticket is $5 and he is put in Section 5, Row 5, Seat 5. In the 5th race is a Horse called, “Double Nickels”.
He understands fate has spoken. He bets his entire bank account and maxes all credit cards. The race is won … Double Nickels came in fifth.”
And here is another good one from Howard’s page:
“I was at the track and asked a guy for a tip. He asked me how long my pecker was, I told him 8 inches, he said to bet on the 8 horse. The 3 Horse won the race … damn, I knew I shouldn’t have lied.”
Dangerfield Las Vegas Jokes About Gambling are Classics
Dangerfield also provided some of the best funny jokes about Gambling throughout his career as a standup Comedian and here are a couple of more gems as well as a wonderful YouTube compilation of some of Dangerfield’s funniest jokes about gambling.
“I tell ya. Las Vegas, they got Slot Machines all over, even in Supermarkets. I went in to buy a container of Milk. Cost me $238.” —Rodney Dangerfield
“I’m not a kid anymore, I know I’m getting old. In Vegas, I played the Slot Machine. Three Prunes came up.” —Rodney Dangerfield
Jokes About Gambling are Great For Relieving Our Stress
No one wins all the time when gambling and it’s obvious the vast majority lose money over a lifetime.
A great example of this “Don’t bet scared” mentality can be seen in this great story told by a former teammate about NBA and Chicago Bulls legend Michael Jordan.
They saw his calm mood and laughter and wondered exactly where Michael was at that point in time. He was down $500,000. Yep. Half a million dollars. And laughing. I won’t ruin the funny part, so watch this clip and enjoy the laughter and learn something about Calm:
In the end, nothing comes easy in Life, be it at Work or in Play, so it’s best to try to build up discipline and calmness when wagering.
British writer Lawrence Durrell, who passed away in 1990, said it quite prophetically:
“Gamblers and lovers really play to lose.” —Lawrence Durrell
Being able to slow down and laugh at ourselves and the world around us is a healthier approach then being mad and stressed. Jokes about gambling from comedic legends like Dangerfield help us to put it all in perspective.
